"isms" of modern times: ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!!

	Emerging 'isms' of the new economy INFOSYSism You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them one at a time to the US for milking.

 

	Emerging 'isms' of the new economy PATNIism You have 10 cows. You make them work so that they give milk of 100 cows

 

	Emerging 'isms' of the new economy WIPROism GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.

 

	Emerging 'isms' of the new economy DELLism Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as Cow's milk.

 

	Emerging 'isms' of the new economy IBMism You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent small businessmen.

 

	Emerging 'isms' of the new economy MICROSOFTism You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.

 

	Emerging 'isms' of the new economy SUNism You have a bull. It doesn't give milk. You hate Microsoft.

 

	Emerging 'isms' of the new economy ORACLEism You have a cow. You don't know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.

 

	Emerging 'isms' of the new economy SAPism You don't have a cow You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.

 

	Emerging 'isms' of the new economy APPLEism You have a cow. You sell iMilk.

 

	Emerging 'isms' of the new economy SONYism You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world's thinnest milk.

 

	Emerging 'isms' of the new economy CITIBANKism Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull, press 2...stay on line if you'd like our customer care to milk it for you.

 

	Some emerging "isms" of the new economy HPism You don't know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through authorised resellers only.

 

	Emerging 'isms' of the new economy GEism You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that's his imagination at work.

 

	Emerging 'isms' of the new economy RELIANCEism You don't yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.

 

	Emerging 'isms' of the new economy TATAism You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.

JUST LAUGH

                                
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Police arrestd a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin?
Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?
Man: My wife...
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Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a
New Business?
Student: Father-in-Law!
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Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll
kill u.
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Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
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What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in
8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
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Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
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Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
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Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
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So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building,
lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!
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Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the
crocodiles.
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Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out,
cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons
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Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will
you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.