Have some fun.......Year 2019 - Cricket World Cup news

India failed to defeat Afghanistan in the world cup qualifier in the
Asia -Pacific zone

Coach sehwag said that he is not worried bcoz he has backing of
selectors, captain and board....and that they had won a close match
against Papua new guinea just 2 yrs ago

Rahul Dravid,the coach of new zealand team said that Sachin should now
consider retiring gracefully and let his son take over the captaincy

mahender singh dhoni broke ajit agarkars record of most no of
conecutive ducks in twenty 20

saurav ganguly, the coach of england feels that the boys need to
control their emotions on the field

the current leading man from bollywood bret lee advices ms dhoni to
take upacting as well

Minnows Pakistan beat Ireland in a close match...and thus they avenged
their defeat in the 2007 WC against the then minnows Ireland

Inzamam ul haq, who was the captain of the losing team and now the
present coach said in a press interview that
"Boys plays well...they try hard...inshallah we wins the world cup"

The police arrested 8 ppl for voilence after England and NZ match...
Investigations revealed that these ppl were members of Dravid and
Ganguly fan communities on Orkut which have 623241516 and 126542
members respectively.

the Indian cricket board led by president Rahul Gandhi has called for
an emergency meeting to discuss future course of action ..former
players like yuvraj singh, md kaif,vvs laxman and kumble have been
invited...coach sehwag and captain Tendulkar will present a report...

vvs laxman today created a new controversy by saying that he expected
a written apology from Rahul Gandhi for including him in the category
of former players....he said that he has improved his fielding and
fitness and wants to play 2023 WC in Brazil


Posted only for humor. No offences meant.

42 interesting facts we all know but...

1. MOPED is the short term for 'Motorized Pedaling'.
2. POP MUSIC is 'Popular Music' shortened.
3. BUS is the short term for 'Omnibus' that means everybody.
4. FORTNIGHT comes from 'Fourteen Nights' (Two Weeks).
5. DRAWING ROOM was actually a 'withdrawing room' where people withdrew after Dinner. Later the prefix 'with' was dropped..
6. NEWS refers to information from Four directions N, E, W and S..
7. AG-MARK, which some products bear, stems from 'Agricultural Marketing'.
8. JOURNAL is a diary that tells about 'Journey for a day' during each Day's business.
9. QUEUE comes from 'Queen's Quest'. Long back a long row of people as waiting to see the Queen. Someone made the comment Queen's Quest..
10. TIPS come from 'To Insure Prompt Service'. In olden days to get Prompt service from servants in an inn, travelers used to drop coins in a Box on which was written 'To Insure Prompt Service'. This gave rise to the custom of Tips.
11. JEEP is a vehicle with unique Gear system. It was invented during World War II (1939-1945). It was named 'General Purpose Vehicle (GP)'.GP was changed into JEEP later.
12. Coca-Cola was originally green.
13. The most common name in the world is Mohammed..
14. The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
15. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
16. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row ! of the keyboard.
17. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!
18. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
19. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
20.. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.
21. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
22. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
23. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history.
     >> Spades - King David
     >> Clubs - Alexander the Great,
     >> Hearts - Charlemagne
     >> Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
24. Horse Statue in a Park…
     >> If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
     >> If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle
     >> If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
25. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common? Ans. - All invented by women.
26. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
27. A snail can sleep for three years.
28. All polar bears are left handed.
29. Butterflies taste with their feet.
30. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
31. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
32. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
33. Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
34. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
35. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
36. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
37. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
38. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.
39. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
40. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
41. The cigarette lighter was invented before the matchbox.
42. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Love @ 1st sight

Hi,


Can anybody explain what love at first sight is?  I know that is tough to define.  

Exact picture is given below.


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Genius Sardarji...

AFRAID THAT SOMEONE WILL TAKE AWAY YOUR SLIPPERS WHEN YOU LEAVE THEM OUTSIDE THE MOSQUE / TEMPLE? ---

FOLLOW THE SAME METHOD AS THIS

GENIUS  SARDAR!--

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Test ur idiocy

Test for   Idiocy
B elow are four (4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK?


Let's find out just how clever you really are....



Ready? GO!!!



First Question:

Y ou are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?



 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

 

Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutel! y wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as you took for the first one, OK ?

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

 

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Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?


You're not very good at this, are you?

 

Third Question:
V ery tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it.. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 .
Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000
Now add 10 . What is the total?




~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~


Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.



If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right....
...Maybe.



Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the ! name of the fifth daughter?




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Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!



Okay, now the bonus round:
I may have sent this one before. I! 'm never sure.

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is
done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of
sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

 

He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.... Like you!

 

  PASS TH IS  ON TO FRUSTRATE THE
SMART PEOPLE   IN YOUR LIFE

 

THIS IS WHAT I CALL LOVE AND HUMANITY ... IT WILL CHANGE YOUR OUTLOOK

Just Take a lil-bit time N read....I Gaurantee ....U Will be touched after reading this.....
2 BEAUTIFUL STORIES TO SHARE WITH EVERYONE

There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl. This
romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his
girl.

Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his
future didn't seem too bright, they were very happy together. Until
one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come
back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the
both of them, so they went their own ways there and then...

Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence, he
worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make
something out of himself.

Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had
set up his own company .

You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day, while this guy
was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain
walk ing to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still
drenched. It didn't take him long to realize they were his girl's
parents.

With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the
couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them
to know that he wasn't the same any more; he had his own company, car,
condo, etc. He made it! What he saw next confused him, the couple was
walking towards a cemetery, and so he got out of his car and
followed...and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as
ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his paper cranes right
beside her...

Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. They
explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with
cancer. She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not
want to be his obstacle... therefore she had chosen to leave him.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you wa nt them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. She had wanted
her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day
comes when fate brings him to her again...he can take some of those
back with him...

Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may
escape but what's in your heart will remain forever.

The guy just wept...The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting
right beside her knowing you can't have her, see her or be with her
ever again.........hope you understand.

Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to
you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you
thought meant nothing to you.

KINDNESS Pays !

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his
way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was
hungry.
He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost
his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal
he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought
him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How
much do I owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything," she replied "Mother has taught us never
to accept payment for a kindness." He said... "Then I thank you from
my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt; stronger
physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been
ready to give up and quit.

Years later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors
were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called
in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called
in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came
from, a strange light filled his eyes.
Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.
Dressed in his doctor's gown he we nt in to see her. He recognized her
at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his
best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the
case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the
business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked
at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her
room.
She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her
life to pay for it all. Finally, she looked, and something caught ;
her attention on the side as She read these words.....

"Paid in full with one glass of milk." (Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You,
GOD, that Your love has spread abroad through human hearts and hands."

NOW YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES.
You can send this page on and spread a positive message or ignore it
and pretend it never touched you.

I don't want to go to school!

---

One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son

and woke him up.

MOM : "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."

SON : "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."

MOM : "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to

school."

SON : "One, all the children hate me. Two, all the

teachers hate me."

MOM : "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to

go to school."

SON : "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to

school?"

MOM :

One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities.

Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.

What if u upgraded Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 :)

 

What if u upgraded Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0  :)

------------ --------- --------- --   

 

Dear Tech Support Team:   

 

 

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

 

 

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other   programs and now monitors all other system activities.

 

 

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't      seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

 

 

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall ' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

 

 

Please help!

 

 

Thanks,

"A Troubled User "

 

 

 

REPLY:

 

 

 

Dear Troubled User:

 

 

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

 

 

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that   it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to   run EVERYTHING !!!

 

 

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to   Girlfriend 5.0.

 

 

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the   system once installed.

 

 

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed   not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony- Child Support ) .

 

 

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the   environment.

 

 

I suggest installing the background application " Yes Dear " to   alleviate software augmentation.

 

 

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE    because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the  system will return to normal anyway.

 

 

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5     and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how   you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 .

 

 

Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend

Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

 

 

STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortS kirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0   and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

 

 

Best of luck,

Tech Support ….

 

 

 

Make urself free and read this Completely...

What's in a name? Enjoy this terrific conversation that took place between William Knott and Watt.

William Knott : Who's calling?

The answer to the telephone .
Watt : Watt .

William Knott : What is your name, please?
Watt : Watt's my name.
William Knott : That's what I asked you. What's your name?
Watt : That's what I told you. Watt's my name.
A long pause, and then from Watt ,
Watt : Is this James Brown?
William Knott : No, this is Knott .
Watt : Please tell me your name.
William Knott : Will Knott .
You left the talkers at a point here they were totally confused, read the rest of what happened....
Watt : Why not?
William Knott : Huh? What do you mean why not?
Watt : Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?
William Knott : But I told you my name!
Watt : Didn't you say you will not?
William Knott : Not not, Knott, Will Knott!

Watt : That's what I mean.
William Knott : So you know my name.
Watt : Of course not!
William Knott : Good. So now, what is yours?
Watt : Watt, Yours?
William Knott : Your name!
Watt : Watt's my name.
William Knott : How the hell do I know? I am asking you!
Watt : Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and you have not even told me yours yet.
William Knott : You have been patient, what about me? I have told you my name so many times and it is you who have not told me yours yet.

Watt : Of course not!
William Knott : See,you even know my name!
Watt : Of course,not!
William Knott : Then why do you keep saying of course Knott ?
Watt : Because I don't.
[ Pause ]

William Knott : What is your name?
Watt : See, you know my name!
William Knott : Of course not!
Watt : Then why do you keep asking Watt is your name?
William Knott : To find out your name!
Watt : But you already know it!
William Knott : What?
Watt : See, and you know mine!
William Knott : Of course not!
Watt : Exactly!
Now they are at a point where both think the other knows their name, but they themselves don't know the other's name.
William Knott : Listen, listen,wait; if I asked you what your name is, what will be your answer?
Watt: Watt's my name.
William Knott : No, no give me only one word.
Watt : Watt
William Knott : Your name!
Watt : Right!
(Pause before it hits him)

William Knott : Oh, Wright!
Watt : Yeah!
William Knott : So why didn't you say it before?
Watt : I told you so many times!
William Knott : You never said Wright before.
Watt : Of course I did.
William Knott: Ok I won't argue any more. Do you know my name?
Watt : I do not.
William Knott : Well, there you go, now we know each other's name.
Watt : I do not!
William Knott : Good!
(Pause before it hits him)

Watt : Oh,Guud!
William Knott : Good.
Watt : No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?
William Knott : No, it's Knott!
Watt : Oh.Okay. At least the names are clear now Guud.
William Knott : Yes Wright.
Now they both think they know each other's name as well!

so...now you are not Knott...rite??.....so watt??????? sorry what???








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Top most reply of a girl, when u propose her...

Here are the top most reply of a girl, when you propose her...

1) Nahi.................???

2) Chiiiii.....Kitne gande vichar hain tumhare.......

3) Maine tumhe sirf ek acche dost ki nazar se dekha hai ....

4) Mera pehle se ek boyfrnd hai....

5 ) Main in baton pe vishwas nahi karti, apne padhai pe dhyaan lagao...

6) tum abhi tak mujhe jaante kahan ho ?Yeh shayad infatuation hai....

7) Tumhara bank balance kitna hai…?? 

8) Magar last year to maine tumhe raakhi baandhi thi ..hai naa..bhaiyya..??

9) Mein abhi is relation ke liye mentally prepared nahi hoo....

10) Mein apne dady se pooch ke tumhe kaal answer karu…??

11) Itni si baat kehne ke liye itni der lagaa di??

12) Ye donon ke dil me hai na, to phir kya kehna!!

13) Sorry

14) "……Apna chehra kabhi aayine me dekha hai….. L……………………………"

15) "Main toh tumhe apna Bhai maanati hu"

16) "Yes .. I too like you … (but hope you don't cheat on me ) " … (Which we guys most oftenly do  )

17) Phele kyon nahi bataya ab tum late ho gaye ..

18) Tum agar pehle mile hote to sochti.

19) Tumhari himmat kaise hui mere baare mein aisa sochne ki… (probably followed by a slap)

20) Girl: mujhe sochna ka wakt do…
Guy: kitna wakt???(with hope)
Girl: saat janam


21) Mai ek shaadi shuda ladki hu ;-)

22) Mein tumhare chotte bhai se pyaar karti hoon…

23) Now that's a real tragedy….
Girl: Hee hee ……hee hee hee…..hee ….hee……hee……
Hee hee ……hee hee hee…..hee ….hee……hee……

24) Boy: I love U!
Gal: I don't think abt all this before marriage.

25) Keep loving I don't care.

26) Tum mere liye kya kar sakte ho…

27) Kaun sa number hai mera tumhare proposals ki history mein.
Ha ha ha ha….

28) tumhe is nazar se kabhi dekha nahi

29) tumhare barre mein kabhi aisa socha nahi

30) mummy se pooch kar bataungi

31) mere bhaiyya se baat kar lo , who hi tumhe samajhayenge

32) Knyo, Tina ne "No" bola?

33) Lekin tum to Mina ke piche pade the, Kya usne thappad mara?

34) Kitne time ke liye -???

35) Worst one-- Jo bhi bolna hai jaldi bolo mera beta school se aata hoga..

36) Thanks. I love you, too.

37) Boy :- Sonya, I love U…..
Gal :- Sorry , Next 3 Months tak Waiting List chal rahi hai….

38) "What?"

39) "Let's just stay away from this"

40)

41)

42) "Give me some free space"

43) I'm the niece of your Head Of Dept.

44) My friend in college got one classic reply … "I THINK I'M ENGAGED"

45) "I think, I will have better options in future ..."
Mujhe tumse is baare mein koi baat nahi karni, then she starts ignoring, phir bhi nahi
sudhare then she threatens via some common friends.

46) My Boy friend is very short Tempered. Beware of it.

47) like you as a friend but I never thought about us like this…cant we be just good friends for ever

47) Actually my younger sis likes you a lot. ..

48) My mummy does not like your family (if the family knows each other.) ..

49) "Why me?..Tumne mere meih essa kya dekha?..."she wants you to list down all the Good qualities that you even might have not seen in her. ...

50) SLAP !! ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS....it is said ..
 
51)hehe I didnt expect that from you....

52)nice joke ...

53)tu ladke kuchh or nahi soch sakte jaha ladki dekhi fisl gaye.....

54)achha tum bhi meine socha sirf harsh,nikhil,ravi, etc etc ko hi mujhme interest hai
and then walks on.............

55)tumhe to purpose karna bhi nahi aata paheli bari hai kya koyi baat nahi mein batati hun...